sign of the times

Emily told me that they were checking their email.

she's walking

Camryn has discovered that she can walk, and if the laughing didn't get in her way, I don't think she'd ever fall down. Here's a short clip of one of her recent travels. Sorry for the lighting...or lack thereof.

even a camera should look pretty

I wouldn't call myself a photographer, but I am a 'picture taker' and I love my camera. I take it everywhere because I always say that you never know when there might be a picture to take. I've said it so much that Connor now asks me when we leave the house, "Do you have your cell phone and do you have your camera?" My cousin Danielle is a fellow 'picture taker' and bought me the cutest camera strap for my birthday. She bought it from a seller on etsy, a website that features all handmade items. It was so thoughtful and I love it.

Taking a picture of it was a challenge, since it's attached to the camera.

live each day as if...

I'm sure you've heard the quote, "Live each day as if it were your last". Today I heard someone on the radio say, "Live each day as if it were your first". It struck me. He was saying if you live everyday as if it were your last, that your entire experience that day would be overshadowed by the fact that at the end of the day, you're going to die. If you live everyday as if it were your first, you have no baggage, no preconceived notions, no expectations...just an entire day ahead of you, the first of many more. I like it.

happy birthaversary

Our 11th wedding anniversary was last weekend...September 12th. It's exactly between my birthday, September 6th, and Carl's birthday, September 18th. So even though we're a year apart in age, we were the same age, 24, the day we were married. I've always thought that was cool. Since our birthday's and anniversary are so close together, we've always celebrated them together...whether it be one gift, one night out to dinner, or like this year...one cake.

Us, on our wedding day. I can't get over how young we look, which makes me realize how old I look now!

In addition to enjoying our cake last weekend, we also enjoyed our soccer! Connor's first game was Saturday. He's playing up a year, U7, but they still don't really win or lose. But, Connor kept score and told me that his team won the first game 2-1 and lost the second game 5-0. Carl's first game was Sunday. This will be our weekends now...soccer both mornings. And Carl gets in from work around 3 a.m. the nights before. Anything for soccer right?! Carl's game was a hike...Burlington Twp. It was nice weather though and Connor and Emily had fun passing the ball to each other. And, Carl scored two goals for a 2-0 win...yea Daddy!

Could the pinnies be any bigger?!

I love Cam's face in this picture. I was trying to get pictures of the girls watching the game but everytime I pull the camera out, Camryn gets ready.

we have a new normal

It's been one week with our new normal and it's going well. I'm handling things fine on the surface but my stomach is still in knots...recovering from Connor's first day and my first week of consecutive days not being home with the kids. And now, I'm home for my weekend off and Carl is at work again just starting his work week...his "Monday".

I'm not sure that Connor's transition to Kindergarten could have gone any smoother. We have a morning routine established. Carl and I are both doing our parts. I have the 7-7:40 a.m. part, which is making sure he is up, dressed and given breakfast. Carl has the 7:40-8:18 a.m. part, which is making sure he finishes breakfast, has his backpack and gets on the bus. We are 'Team Heil', as I like to call us. Thank goodness we work well together (which really just means thank goodness Carl understands, puts up with, and executes my way of doing things). Connor has entered school each morning seeing my smiling face (a perk of working there). The first two days I was supposed to be in the main entrance lobby to help the lost, nervous and anxious kids find their way. The last two days, I just hung out there for fun. He said he loves Kindergarten and was especially excited about Spanish class.

Other happenings this week...

Camryn is very close to walking. She's doing well holding on to one hand and she's getting brave enough to let go and take a step or two on her own. Emily has decided that she would like to go to school too. She had been asking for a backpack so I finally got her one since they went on sale now that school started. She has no use for it but it's pink and it has Princesses on it. That's all that matters.

Stay tuned...soccer started this week! First practice was Wednesday and first game is tomorrow. Fall is officially here!

kindergarten orientation

Tuesday of this week was Connor's Kindergarten orientation. It's cool the way they do it...the bus picks up the child, and one parent gets to ride to school too. So Carl got that job and I met them at the school.

Connor met his teacher, waited in line and then after a quick high five and "have fun" from us, he went to the classroom and we went to a parent meeting with the principal. The whole thing was about an hour and we met up with Connor in the classroom for the last 15 minutes. It's kind of weird for me since I work there. I've been in his teacher's classroom dozens of times so I knew what to expect. It was surreal to see him sitting at a table in her room, at his assigned seat, with his nametag on the table. He handled the whole thing great, although he looked nervous. He was quiet, reserved...his typical reaction in new settings. I'm really looking forward to him being there, learning and experiencing new things. His first day is Tuesday the 8th. Carl will put him on the bus at 8:18 and I will be there in the main lobby greeting all of the Kindergarten students as he walks through the doors at 8:30. He thinks that part is cool, because no other parents get to do that. He asked me last night if, in school, he has to call me Mrs. Heil.

the blog i've been avoiding

This is the blog I've been avoiding. The one where I have to talk about my first day back to work tomorrow, my first day without the kids in 15 months. Over the last few weeks I've been going though denial, sadness, anxiety and anticipation (and not the good kind of anticipation). How I typically handle things is...I don't like complaining, my glass is always half-full, I don't like to make a big deal about things, I don't sweat the small stuff, I try to see the positive in every situation, I always know that someone has it worse. This is not how I have been or even want to feel about my going back to work full-time. I want to complain, make a big deal about it, sweat it, think and talk about the negative aspects of the situation and I don't want to focus on people who have it worse. I don't want to hear things like, "well at least you only work 10 months" or "at least you're home by 3:30" or "at least you work 2 minutes from your house" or "good jobs are hard to come by...you should feel lucky", etc., etc., etc. None. of. that. matters. to. me. The truth is, I just want to be home with the kids. End of story. I want to get them up in the morning, make their breakfast and clean-up after them. I want to help Connor and Emily play nicely together, and correct them when they don't. I want to see Camryn scoot around the house on her butt and see those first steps that I know are coming any day now. I want to make the bottles, clean the dishes, do the wash and plan their day. I don't want to miss one minute of what will happen between 7:30 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. But I'm going to.

The decision was between going back or resigning completely...my job was held for me, I'm grateful that I have a job where that is possible. I had to think about the long term benefits rather than the short term ones. I can only hope and pray that I don't look back on the decision five years from now and wish I had went for the short term.